The Llama Chaser's 2009/2010 Year in Review

Before we go forward on the new season I guess we should take a look back with a review of last year.(I had planned on doing this at the end of last year but lacked motivation, after being called out by a facebook friend I feel like I better not disappoint the devoted followers we have) So her we go:

I won't spend much time on the team as a whole because honestly there isn't much to talk about. We started the year off decent, then got screwed out of some wins because we didn't have a fifth bowler for much of the year. The league penalized us by taking wins away because our dues weren't paid and the team went into a free fall. The Llama Chasers finished in last for the first half and last in the second half. As I breakdown each players performance you will likely see why.

I will give you an in depth look at each Llama Chaser and will attempt to sum up each bowlers season in a popular song as well as a popular movie. As an example the song for our team's performance this year would be “I Get Knocked Down” by Chumbawamba. I hate the song but we sure did keep getting knocked down, not sure we got back up again as the song suggests but we at least kept showing up every week. The movie would be “Showgirls”. I googled “disappointing movies” and this one came up with a description that read “Elisabeth Berkley and Gina Gershon are smoking hot young actresses, featured in a movie about strippers, Vegas, and girl-on-girl action.” Sounds great, right? Well as anyone who saw it knows it sucked. That description was similar to the one that Freeway Lanes Monthly wrote about the Llama Chasers at the beginning of last season “Brick, Tom, Ryan, and Kevin are smoking hot guys, featured in a weekly bowling league, Cleveland, and boy-on-boy action errrr splits, strikes, and llamas.” And as I just mentioned our season sucked worse than “Showgirls”. Both so promising but both painfully disappointing.

Here are the individual breakdowns:

Brick
Song - “Simply the Best” Tina Turner
Movie - “All the Right Moves” starring Tom Cruise

“Simply the Best” says it all for Bricks season. It was by far the most consistent and dominate season a Llama Chaser has ever had. The team set a goal for Brick to bowl 200 on the season, he did even better with a 204. We also set a goal with 36 Llamas, Brick bowled a team record 40 Llamas!! Even with his season average around 200 all year he went out and bowled above average the large majority of the year, which as we all know is the key to winning in a bowling league with a handicap. This is also why I chose “All the Right Moves” because that is what Brick had in the 09/10 campaign. That movie also works for Brick for another reason. I'm sure most woman know as well as I(Ryan) do that you can see Tom Cruise's package in the movie, especially if you watch the scene in slo-mo. We have all put that part in slow motion, right? Well Brick has never been shy with showing his package either, as any Llama Chaser would attest. Another Tom Cruise movie comes to mind when thinking of Brick's upcoming season...”Mission Impossible”. Brick had told me on several occasions how difficult it will be to match his numbers from last season, but I'm sure he can be our “Top Gun” again.

Tom
Song – “Mr. Disappointment” Neil Young
Movie - “Inside Man” starring Denzel Washington
“Mr. Disappointment” starts with the lyrics “Where did all the feelings go? What about that happy glow? Was that so long ago, When we first bowled?” Maybe I changed that last line but this sums up Tom's season. In the 08/09 season Tom averaged a 193 and the team expected him to build on that and average in the upper 190's. Well Mr. Disappointment ended up with a mind-boggling 180 average. While Brick was consistently bowling over average, Tom was consistently bowling under average especially in the 2nd half. As for the movie “Inside Man”, not sure how many of you saw this movie but I just saw it for the first time last week. Netflix thought it would be a 4 star movie for me and starring Denzel Washington and Jodie Foster and directed by Spike Lee I was expecting good things much like we were expecting a good season out of Tom. The movie wasn't very good, it started fine but I kept waiting for it to turn into something good but then it ended and I was like huh, that sucked. That's Tom's season in a nutshell. The Llama Chasers kept waiting for Tom to have a breakout week that would turn his season around, we kept waiting and waiting, and then the season was over and Tom ended up 13 pins under his 08/09 average. “Where did the season go, What about the Llamas rolled? Was that so long ago, When you knew how to bowl?”

Check back for Ryan, Kevin, Rob, and Andy's year in review.