Monday, December 3, 2012

Week 14 - Holy Sh!t, Tom sucks!

I would like to sugar coat it Llama Chaser Nation but I can''s true, Tom sucks. Before we start feeling too bad for Tom just remember he has a beautiful family, a nice house, a good job, a reliable car, he's smart, has a decent ass, and has a good sense of humor...he just sucks at bowling. You want proof...
I would encourage my 4 readers of this recap to go down to your local alley, grab a ball, get a pair of lane shoes, tie the shoe laces together so you can barely walk, step up on the lane, put one hand behind your back, close your eyes, and bowl 3 games. I bet you would beat a 346 series.

According to the stats that are on Tom has bowled 241 weeks over 9 seasons with the Llama Chasers and never has he bowled like he did tonight. In the prior 241 weeks Tom NEVER had a series under 400. Tom had at least 1 year were he bowled 90 games and had 0 games that he bowled under 140, tonight he bowled 3 games at 125 or under!! The scary part is he was over his "skirt average" in game 2 with his 125. He will clock in for week 15 with a 159 average. It may be time to see if Rob, Bryan C., or Brian P. want to come out of retirement.

To make matters even worse Tom stormed out of bowling, refusing to hang around for the team bonding experience of Keno and the second ever naked-girls poker card draft. The draft has us pick from our 4 decks of naked ladies and choose the best Ace of Hearts girl, the best Four of Clubs girl, and so on. It is one of the best nights the Llama Chasers have. It is like Christmas morning for Andy, Kevin, and Brick. I enjoy it but would prefer if the girls were clothed with their IQ's listed next to them, a smart girl is what gets me going. Unfortunately Tom chose to go home and have a pity party.

We lost all 7 on the nights but there were some good moments...Brick's 129 in game 1 was fun and got him in the skirt. Kevin bowled well with all 3 games over average. I bowled a 233 in game 3 which was better than Tom's game 1 and 3 COMBINED, 221.

Times are tough in Llama Land but we all know that I am a glass half-full type of guy so let's take a look at the bright side. We have only 1 week left in the first half and Kevin, Andy, Brick, and myself are all about 10 pins under where our averages were last year. And Tom is 35 pins under his average from last year.

I am confident we are ready to take the league by storm in the second half!!!! There is no doubt in my mind Tom will figure this thing out, he is too good of a bowler not to. He has 3 weeks of bowling and a two week holiday break to make some adjustments. When Tom averages in the 190's in the second half we will be very difficult to beat.

Say it with me Llama Chaser Nation...2013 Is the Year of the Llama!!!!

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