Thursday, August 23, 2012

Week 1 - I BOWL WITH A BUNCH OF COWARDS



It’s true Llama Chaser Nation…All of ‘em are scared, little wimps. Please allow me to explain why.

As we all know our bowling league is not a scratch scoring league, it is a handicap scoring league. This essentially allows a 150 average bowler to compete with someone who averages 220. Basically what that means is you just need to bowl your average to have a good night and help your team.

Many years ago the Llama Chasers decided to penalize a bowler if they bowl worse than 25% of their average. So a 200 average would have to bowl a 151 or better to not be penalized. This is what we commonly refer to as The Skirt Rule. If you bowl under 25% of your average you have to wear a skirt the next game and pay double penalties into the kitty. The reasoning is obvious, if you bowl that bad you are hurting the team and deserved to be humiliated for it.

The Skirt Rule is in effect every week of the year EXCEPT the first 3 weeks. You are probably wondering why not the first 3 weeks? The answer is quite simple and also the subject of this week’s post…I BOWL WITH A BUNCH OF COWARDS.

Brick, Tom, Brandon, and Kevin will tell you because we don’t really have an average yet. This, I will agree, is partially true. In a handicap scoring league you use the first 3 weeks to determine your average for the current season. So if your average last year was 220 but you only average 170 for the first 3 weeks of the new season your average starting week 4 is 170. So the pansies on my team argue that The Skirt Rule can not be put in effect until week 4. This almost sounds logical, doesn’t it?

It begs the question that if Brick, Kevin, Tom, and Brandon say you don’t have an average for the first 3 weeks how do you determine who wins each game for the first 3 weeks? The answer: you use last year’s average for the first 3 weeks.

So you ARE bowling with an average the first 3 weeks (the average you finished last season with) and based upon how well you bowl against this average determines whether you win or lose as a team. Yet they all argue that if BOWLER A, whose average was 200, bowls a 150 or below he shouldn’t have to wear the skirt because we don’t have an average yet. BUT because he does use the 200 average from last year we may lose if  he bowls like crap. Look back up and read The Skirt Rule (in red) again.

You are being penalized because you EFFED the team. It doesn’t matter if it is week 1, 2, 3, or whatever EFFING week you screwed the team. You have an EFFING average.

They all know that what is written here is 100% accurate but they are just wimps who don’t want to own up for screwing the team.

Brick always says the Kitty and Skirt Rule are there for motivation….he says that if you don’t screw up you won’t have to worry about either of them. Well how the hell does that differ in the weeks 1-3?

IT”S TIME TO MAN UP FELLAS!! And dress like a woman when you bowl like crap.

Somebody, anybody please tell me what I am missing?

Now that I am done with that I will let you know how week 1 went.

The first game all four bowlers (Brandon missed this week) bowled under average and we won. We did all happen to be right around average so things looked promising for the night. Tom and Brick even dropped in the first Llamas of the season to help close out Game 1. Side note: Kevin and Tom happened to be wearing skirts this game as carryover penalties from last year. Kevin even made a “field goal” on a split and had to drop a nice $1.50 into the kitty.

As it turned out game 1 was the bright spot on the evening. Tom and Brick flirted with the The Skirt Rule (which as I explained was not really in effect for some dumbass reason). Tom and Brick both finished just above their skirt line’s with 151 and 159, respectively.  I, Ryan, showed up with a solid 225 which included 2 ever-illusive Llamas or as they are better known 2 Turkeys. Tom, Brick, and Kevin were a combined 112 pins under average and I think we lost the game by 13 pins. Ouch!

Game 3 Tom and Ryan bowled well. Tom bowled a Super Llama and finished with a 220 and Ryan closed with a 197, 600 series on the night. Unfortunately Kevin was a few pins under average and Brick bowled a skirt worthy 149 which included a 5/open in the 10th frame.

So we start the season on a sour note with a 2-5 mark. Better days are ahead!!

AGAIN I AM ASKING THE 4 OR 5 READERS OF THIS RECAP TO EXPLAIN TO ME WHAT I AM MISSING ON THE 3 WEEK SKIRT RULE BAN. EXPLAIN TO ME LOGICALLY WHY BRICK SHOULD NOT HAVE TO WEAR THE SKIRT THE 1ST GAME OF NEXT WEEK. (I AM NOT PICKING ON BRICK HE JUST HAPPENED TO “FIT INTO” THE SKIRT THIS WEEK, BUT THIS SHOULD GO FOR ALL OF US.)

LLAMA CHASER TOM AND KEVIN YOU READ THIS EVERY WEEK PLEASE EXPLAIN THIS TO ME.

P.S. Even if I had bowled bad this week my feelings are the same. I have argued for this rule every year and I am just thoroughly confused as to what I am missing.

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3 comments:

  1. Ryan wants to know what he's missing?

    Well Ryan points out that our averages are based on how we ended the prior year, and they continue for the first three weeks of the current year no matter how well or poorly you do during that time. For instance, I finished with a 195 average last year and I bowl a 675 the first week and average 225 for the week, my average is still at 195. Same if I bowled a 375 series, and averaged 125, my average is still 195, until week 4. I don't believe it's fair to use the skirt when our averages do not change week to week during the first three weeks of the season.

    Since our averages from last year are based on 32 weeks of bowling, I don't think they should be used to determine the current year skirts, until our current year averages kick in which happens in week 4.

    I believe the skirt average for the current bowling should be should be based on current year bowling, not based on how poorly or well you bowled 4 months prior. Also I believe, much like the NBA lottery, waiving the skirt penalty until the real averages kick in, was put in place to prevent tanking at the end of the prior season to artificially lower your average. Only to have said average be used for an insanely low skirt average at the beginning of the next season. If Ryan was able to apply his silly rule, there would no doubt be a lot of "missed spares" or "hurt wrists". However, one could argue that Nate and I spent half a season tanking our averages. I can only speak for myself, but I didn't do it on purpose.

    Ryan presents a good case with the handicap is based on the prior year average, so in fact, we do have an average that's used to calculate our handicap. I'm all in favor of using the skirt rule for we lose by what you miss your average by, you have to wear the skirt because that is a direct relationship to your average whether you have a high average or not. However, using the 25% skirt rule is crazy since it's based on prior year numbers and should have no effect on your current year bowling.

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  2. Well Tom, I appreciate you at least responding and I would love to see your point. But I don't.

    You mentioned people tanking the second half of the year. That has never happened and would never happen. Number 1 there are fines in place that would be quite costly plus you would end up in the skirt anyhow. Someone would rather wear the skirt 10 times in the second half of a season rather than possibly wear it the first 3 weeks of the new season? That makes no sense. Nice try comparing the skirt rule to the NBA Draft.

    It is actually much more likely that someone would tank the first 3 weeks of the season to start out with a low average. In no way, shape, or form do I think Brandon did that the last 2 years but he struggled the first 3 weeks both years. He benefited greatly by having a slow start. He would have likely been in the skirt a few times the first 3 weeks but wasn't. Then week 4 rolls around and his average was about 20-30 pins under what his normal average is. In both years he didn't end up in the skirt well into the second half.

    Tom you close out with "However, using the 25% skirt rule is crazy since it's based on PRIOR YEAR NUMBERS AND SHOULD HAVE NO EFFECT ON YOUR CURRENT YEAR BOWLING."

    Ummm...I would have thought my recap spelled this out for you but your last year's average has everything to do with the first 3 weeks of the current year. We lost last week because what our averages were last year.

    You are essentially saying "Ryan I haven't bowled for 4 months, how can I be expected to bowl an average that it took me 32 weeks to get." Well go to our league director and tell him you would like him to change the rules. That we shouldn't be judged on those 4 month old numbers. This souunds silly, right? Well that is what your whole little blurb just said.

    Tom you are a smart guy, please either come up with a logical reason why I am wrong or simply tell everyone what we already know "Ryan's right...Brick, Kevin, and I are cowards!"





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  3. Bowling alleys are open all summer, 4 months off is a choice not a mandate.

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