Thursday, November 4, 2010

Week 10 - Carrie Underwood

“I will tell you more next week why Kevin is out
But boy it is gay; there is no doubt” - from Week 9 recap

That is right Llama Chaser Nation and I’m embarrassed to tell you that Kevin missed bowling to attend a Carrie Underwood concert on a Monday night. I wish I could tell you what a great husband he is and how he sacrificed for his wife, that he bought her tickets to attend the concert for her birthday, that it is Kevin’s wife’s favorite singer. Boy oh boy, I wish I could tell you all of that but I can’t. What I can tell you is that these tickets were bought for Kevin. I wasn’t there but I am guessing the situation happened like this…Kevin’s Wife: “Kevin I just heard Carrie Underwood is coming to Cleveland in November, I was going to surprise you and get tickets for your birthday but then I noticed it was a Monday night and I knew you wouldn’t ever consider doing that to your bowling team.” Kevin: “Sweetheart, but I just love Carrie’s singing so much and her back-up singers are so handsome. Please, please can you get me the tickets for my birthday; it would be the greatest gift ever!” Pardon me while I puke all over my keyboard. To quote another female singer, Kevin likely would skip bowling to see, Sheryl Crow “Lie to me, I promise I’ll believe”. Tell us you had to work late, tell us you were going out of town, tell us that you got a paper cut…Don’t tell us Carrie Underwood means more to you than your Llama Chaser family. Kevin, so you understand what I mean I will break it down for you in Carrie Underwood song titles which I am happy to say I had to google and I am sad to say you probably know by heart: “What Can I Say” I wish you could “Undo It”, turning your back on the Llama Chasers made us seem “So Small”. “Jesus, Take the Wheel” help Kevin make better decisions. I wanted to tell Llama Chaser Nation that you had to work late, but “I Just Can’t Live a Lie”. I hoped this was all “Just a Dream” that I would wake up and say to Brick, Tom, and Brandon that Kevin wouldn’t do us like that “I Told You So” but it wasn’t a dream. “Whenever You Remember” this night, I hope you think of it as “Lessons Learned” and the Llama Chasers would say when making future decisions “Don’t Forget to Remember Me”. The good news is Kevin doesn’t “chase” Llamas anyhow, with 0 Llamas on the year, so we wouldn’t likely miss him. Now let’s talk about what we all love, some bowling!! Hell Yeah!! Coming off the 5-2 last week we were hoping to continue in the right direction. We came out of the gate a little slow with Tom dead on average at 180, Brandon dead on average at 179, and both Ryan and Brick slightly under average. The good news is we still bowled over the competition and won game 1. Plus we got to see Tom’s sweet little ass in the skirt which is always a treat. Game 2, just as Kevin was probably dancing like a little school girl to “Before He Cheats” the rest of the Llamas were busy putting a winning streak together. Tom, with pants on now, rolled a 192. Brandon bowled a little under average 169, Ryan put in a nice 191, and Brick threw a masterful 233 clean game which all added up to another win. Game 3 was our strongest game on the year with all 4 Llama Chasers bowling over a 200…Brandon 201, Tom 214, Ryan 217, and Brick 218. We only had 4 opens as a team in the third game, Brick actually had 0 and only 1 open on the night. Tom and Brick ran down some Turkeys as Ryan and Brandon “chased” down a Llama each. Of course we won that game for a stellar 7-0 on the night and now 32-38 on the year. Hopefully Kelly Clarkson or Clay Aiken are not in town next week so we will have a full team.

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