How often do you think a writer writes a column on a sporting event that he was not there to witness? That he writes an article strictly from the box score? I'm guessing it doesn't happen very often but that is what I will attempt to do here. You may be wondering why Brick, Kevin, or Brandon don't write the recap, well I am wondering that as well. My guess is the 3 of them can barely read. Anyhow, I will do my best to let you know how I think things went down. I was in Columbus for work so I was not there, which is an excused absence for me. Tom wasn't there because he decided to have sex sometime in February, this led to a beautiful new llama that was born on October 11, which ironically is the same birthday as Brick and Brandon. Pretty weird, huh? Keep in mind this is NOT an excused absence!! If you look at the Llama Chaser "Rules to Live By" pamphlet it clearly states that no child is to be born during bowling season because not only will you miss a week or two when the child is born but you risk every 5 or 6 years of having their birthday on a bowling Monday. So Tom, congrats but this is the second child born in season, enough is enough!
Kevin was nice enough to text me the scores on the night while I was in Columbus and when I saw the I immediately knew we did well. Then he told me we lost all 7 points, hence the Beautiful Disaster. Kevin missed the first game but bowled a 212 in game 2, which he finished with a llama, and bowled a 175 in game 3. Brandon started a little slow with a 160 but then jump up to a 184 game 2 and solid 224 game 3 which included 2 turkey's or as I see it 2 ever-illusive llamas. Andy filled in for his brother Tom and was simply sensational. He put up a 230, 203, 215 - 648 series. I do have one complaint though, we aren't called the Llama Chasers for nothing, would it have killed him to turn a turkey or two into a Llama?
Those scores alone look nice and would lead you to believe we won a few games and I haven't even told you about the Llama King. How about a 279, 215, 266 - 760 series for Brick. This is one of the best, if not the best, series in Llama Chaser history. The Dalai Llama made a rare appearance in game 1 which we all know is 9 strikes in a row, in game 2 the Super Llama made an appearance, and in game 3 Brick, aka the Llama King, dropped in a Double Llama...8 strikes in a row for those of you scoring at home. That is 5 llamas on the night which is a first in Llama Chaser History. Brick is on pace to destroy the record for most Llamas in a season. (I would normally stop here but I am afraid Brick will yell at me for not telling you how awesome he is and was on this night.) Did I mention not only what a great bowler he is but how stunningly handsome he is. That not only did god bless him with unbelievable bowling skills but he also blessed him with the body of a model and the mind of, umm, someone really smart. Also, he drives a truck that you would only expect out of someone who is so awesome at getting Llamas. Did I mention how well he did tonight...5 Llamas, 3 Super Llamas, 2 Mega-Llamas, 2 Ultra-Llamas, 2 Double Llamas, and 1 Dalai Llama... are kidding me, this kid is unreal. All he cares about is Llamas and then you have someone like Tom who has the audacity to have a child during bowling season. All hail the Llama King!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So the team all bowled very well, and Brick was at his all-time best, and we still lost all 7, quite simply it was a Beautiful Disaster. Only 1 of 2 conclusions can be drawn from this... 1. There is no defense in bowling...or...2. This team sucks without Ryan. I think we all know the answer.
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