Monday, December 12, 2011

Week 15 - Beauty and the Beast(s)

"Just a little change

small to say the least

Both a little scared

Neither one prepared

Beauty and the Beast(s)"

You may be thinking this song is in reference to Ryan turning from a beast into a handsome young princess with the skirt would be wrong. The story this song is actually telling is of a young beautiful Llama Chaser named Ryan and the 4 other heartless "Beasts" on the Llama Chasers. In the original "Beauty and the Beast", the Beast was given a rose that would bloom until his 21st birthday. The Beast must love and be loved in return before all the rose's petals have fallen off, or he will remain a Beast forever. In the tale of "Beauty and the Llama Chasers Beasts" Brick, Tom, Kevin, and Brandon having 3 games of bowling to love and be loved by Ryan or they will remain heartless beasts that have to play poker with naked men cards forever.

The story starts with Ryan struggling in practice bowling because of a long day at the Browns game the day before. Ryan had played corn hole for about 5 straight hours and picking the bags off the ground really caught up with him. Ryan is no stranger to back pain and the long day tailgating and playing corn hole on a hard parking lot had his back in severe pain. He figured he would battle through it like he always does and that his teammates would root him on and carry him through the night. But right away the "beast" in each of them came out. They laughed as I struggled through game 1. Ryan in the skirt was all they cared about, winning the game hadn't even crossed their minds. Well our hero, Ryan, fought through the back pain and the torment from his team and finished with a Llama in game 1. So game 1 was in the books for the Llama Chasers with a loss, no skirt for Ryan, and no love found from the Llama Chasers. Game 2 had Ryan fighting hard but with no support from his back or from his Llama Chasing teammates this noble prince was going to be transformed into a beautiful princess with a skirt on(and some fancy Llama socks made from real Llama fur that I picked up in Vegas that must me worn with the skirt). But now with Ryan in the skirt and the Llamas with 2 losses certainly Brick, Tom, Kevin, and Brandon would show some love for their friend Ryan. For if they did not and another loss was in their future they would remain heartless beasts and be forced to play poker with naked men cards forever!!!(Well just for 1 week but forever sounds more powerful in the story) As our beauty Ryan strolled down the lanes he was certain he would at least find lust from his teammates and that maybe that would be confused as love and we would win game 3. Heads turned from one alley to another just to catch a glimpse of this Llama Chaser "Beauty". If Ryan was on another team in this league I'm certain he would have found love from the many perverts that were undressing him with their eyes. But Brick, Tom, Kevin, and Brandon were too busy laughing and making fun of Ryan to fall in love. It reminded me of "Cinderella" and how the wicked step-sisters were just jealous and mean. So does the story of "Beauty and the Llama Chaser Beasts" have a happy ending? Of course it does...Brick, Tom, Kevin, and Brandon never did find love and the Llama Chasers did in fact lose that 3rd game. The heartless beasts will have to play poker with naked men cards this week and I'm quite certain each of them will be falling in love each time they pick up a card.

Side note:Ryan actually fell under the dreaded double skirt rule in Game 2. This happens when a bowler bowls under his skirt average(which I did) and the other 4 bowlers bowl over average and we lose by what I missed my average by(which I did). For example my average is 184, my skirt average was 136, I bowled a 131 and we lost by less than 51 pins(184-131). So I will be bringing sexy back again in game 1 this week and hopefully not anymore.

Also, if you want to see how everyone bowled this week just go to and click on stats and eventually Tom should have them updated.

"Tale as old as time

Song as old as rhyme

Beauty and the Llama Chaser Beasts"

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